By Michelle Hines, University Relations
Dr. Pete Kellett, head of the Communication Studies Department, has written a new textbook on conflict negotiation.
In several boxes on the floor of Dr. Pete Kellett’s office are close to a thousand stories – true stories about personal conflicts that people have shared with him over the years.
Kellett, head of the Communication Studies Department at UNCG, has incorporated many of those stories into a new textbook, “Conflict Dialogue: Working with Layers of Meaning for Productive Relationships” (Sage Press, 287 pages). The book focuses on conflict resolution in personal relationships, and was written for use by upperclassmen and graduate students.
“The hardest part was leaving out so many good stories,” Kellett said. “But conflict stories are archetypal. There are only so many conflict stories that people live through, so I chose those that I think everyone can relate to in some way.”
“Conflict Dialogue” offers case studies and commentary on diverse types of conflicts, including issues arising from ethnic differences, romantic relationships and friendships. One story revolves around a young Indian woman whose decision to convert to Christianity sparked conflict within her family. Another involves a young woman trying to rebuild her family relationships after “coming out” as a lesbian. A third is about a young man trying to negotiate a hostile relationship with his uncle.
Kellett's book uses true stories and analysis to teach readers how to handle interpersonal conflicts.
Each conflict is multilayered, with several layers of meaning going on at the same time. “The idea is that if you can understand the whys, you can get better at the how-to’s of managing conflicts,” Kellet said.
He offers the following steps for conflict negotiation:
1. Step back and try to understand that conflict is about differences in meaning and different levels of meaning all of which can be working at the same time. Sometimes you have to dig deeper, peeling away many layers to uncover the real meaning behind the conflict.
2. Ask yourself what you want from the conflict. Put yourself in the place of the other person and try to see what the conflict also means for them.
3. Figure out how you can collaborate so that both parties’ needs are met.
Kellett, who also co-authored “Managing Conflict in a Negotiated World” with Diana Dalton in 2001, came to UNCG in 1994. He plans to use the new book in a spring graduate course.
