By Michelle Hines, University Relations
Contact: (336) 334-5371
Posted 11-18-08
GREENSBORO, N.C. – Chris Poulos believes in the healing power of stories. The ancient Greeks understood it, he says. They knew that archetypal themes and myths offer up a “nexus of possibility.”
“Kierkegaard said that being in despair is like being out of breath,” says Poulos, communication professor and author of the new book “Accidental Ethnography: An Inquiry into Family Secrecy.” “People need something to keep them from spiraling down into darkness. They need air, and story may be that air.”
“Accidental Ethnography,” Left Coast Press, 240 pages, serves dual purposes. First, it guides the reader through the process of writing personal narratives, or autoethnographies. Second, it helps the reader to use those stories to improve communication within the family.
“You’re effectively turning a lens toward, directly onto, family secrets, and writing through them,” Poulos says. “This opens up the field of possibilities.”
Poulos uses stories about some of his own family secrets, especially his great-grandfather’s desertion of his family when he left Greece for America in 1912, to illustrate his point. Talking about his grandfather helped Poulos’ dad to heal.
“He was finally ready,” Poulos says. “He was able to let go of the old need to hold stuff in.”
Poulos suggests embracing what he calls “accidental revelations,” those chance disclosures by family members that often take our breath. Other forms of story — dreams and memories — can also be harnessed for healing, he says. “It’s all about being attuned to and open to everyday events and conversations and engagements with people.”
Poulos includes composite stories in which the names and details have been changed. He also offers writing exercises and queries. One query is this: “What role does silence play in your life?”
The sad silence of secrets can fester into hurt and anger, Poulos says. “It starts as silent grief, and next thing you know you have a bevy of secrets. It grows into a kind of animal that takes over. But with a story, you have hope.”
