So often, when a person is born into less-than-ideal circumstances, the road in front of them seems nearly impossible. College, a stable career, and so much more seem too far out of reach. If an outside observer were to look at the humble beginnings of Debra Toler ’15, they may expect that she was given a task even the most Herculean among us could not achieve. But that person would be wrong, as they did not have the pleasure of knowing the heart and determination of an amazing Spartan.
She passed away on July 6. Her visitation will be held at Triad Cremation & Funeral Service on Saturday, July 25, at 11 a.m., followed immediately by a celebration of life.
To hear Deb describe the early challenges in her life, it would seem it was no big deal. She told it in the most nonchalant tone, as if she were telling you the plot of a show she’d seen one too many times.
She spoke of being born into a world of poverty, living in a home that was deemed so structurally unsafe that it was condemned. Her mother, Elizabeth, passed away when she was only 13. Her father Vernes passed away prior to her 18th birthday. She spent the rest of her high school career living with friends and family, going from place to place. But Deb refused to give up, persevering despite the obstacles in her path, and graduated.
Soon after, she began her Spartan journey: Deb joined the Housekeeping Staff at UNCG. That job began alongside two other life-altering journeys. She became a mother to the brightest star in her universe, her son Gabriel, and started her undergraduate career at UNCG. Deb worked hard each day to achieve her academic dreams while raising Gabe with her husband, Walter. Everyone who knew Deb knew that hard work and multiple responsibilities were just another thing to get through, and she didn’t bother complaining about them.
She graduated with her bachelor’s degree from UNCG in December 2015.
In April 2016, Deb got to announce some exciting news: “Just accepted a job offer with Financial Aid at UNCG! I have been waiting for this call for many weeks. All the long nights, all the papers, and the stress of exams, the six years I have spent working as a housekeeper so I could graduate have finally paid off.”
Anyone who has worked in the UNCG Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships can point to that as the moment the office improved forever. Deb was a natural at all things financial aid. When working with students and parents, she blended professionalism, realism, and empathy into one graceful interaction. Her ability to learn on the fly and stay cool under pressure made her the ideal coworker, especially in the ever-changing world of financial aid. When facing changes, deadlines, or less-than-happy folks, she would always say, “It will get done! Or it won’t. Either way, I’ll just keep showing up and doing my job.” During her 10 years in the Financial Aid office, Deb worked as a frontline counselor before advancing to Senior Counselor for Scholarship Operations. In that role, she was a state fund guru. She worked spreadsheets like they were the simplest tasks, notably marking tasks “complete” with a light shade of purple so everyone knew who’d been there.
Through it all, Deb never forgot her roots. On her hardest days, she often “threatened” to go back to Housekeeping, remarking how some of the least clean dorms she’d ever encountered were more appealing than new federal regulations. She enriched many lives, brought many laughs, and was quick to offer a shoulder to lean on, or a reality check filled with empathy. She would always ask to see pictures of your “cute wittle babies,” human or animal! It has been surreal for Spartans, past and present, to enter the office and not hear her boisterous, mischievous laugh that filled the halls for so many years.
Deb is the ultimate UNCG Spartan success story. According to Merriam-Webster, a Spartan is someone “tough, austere, and unbothered by hardship.” Deb is the quintessential Spartan through and through. She always forged ahead, closing each chapter with victory and beginning new ones that would allow her to better herself and the lives of those she cared about most.
In her absence, there are countless reminders of her: well-hidden stashes of paperclips, countless to-do lists in every color of ink except black, and many blankets. It didn’t matter if it was 9 degrees or 99 degrees, Deb always had a blanket wrapped around her! We will miss Deb. Oh, how we will miss her, but we are all far better for having known her.
But perhaps the most important reminder we will always have of her comes in the form of a kind, gentle, loving, and incredibly smart young man: her son Gabe. He often called his mom just to tell her he loved her. His soft-spoken nature, kind words, fist bumps, and big hugs endeared him to all of her coworkers. Gabe graduated Magna Cum Laude from Western Guilford High School in June, a day Deb marked with palpable excitement and many tears. In August, he heads to UNC Charlotte to pursue a degree in Computer Science with a concentration in AI, Robotics, and Gaming.
Deb will always be a part of the rich, woven fabric that makes UNCG what it is: an inclusive, loving, and happy place for all to thrive.
Story by the Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships Staff
