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Fifteen Common Myths People Believe About Counseling |
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By Angel Coldiron
Many people don't seek help from a counselor because they have concerns and misconceptions about counselors and counseling. The following are some common myths that people have about the process of counseling and counselors:
Myth #1: Counseling is Only for People Who are Crazy and Unsuccessful.
Reality: Many people who are in counseling have normal problems that people face every day. Sometimes the stress from these problems can become overwhelming. Often stress from changes in life—positive or negative—can lead a person into a place in life where they need some assistance from a counselor. These normal, healthy people are seeing a counselor to work through a specific problem or to figure out why they are not happier with their success. Other common reasons for people to see a counselor are to get help with depression or anxiety.
Myth #2: Someone Who Doesn't Know Me Can't Help Me
Reality: This is one reason why counseling can be successful. The counseling process depends on the counselor being unbiased. Counseling involves a unique relationship with an impartial person who can help you figure out how to reach your goals. Most counselors believe that you are the expert of your own life. Counselors receive special training to help them know how to assist their clients facing a wide range of life challenges.
Myth #3: Counselors Can Read People's Minds
Reality: Counselors are not psychics. However, through their training, counselors learn to observe their clients and listen to their clients in such a way that counselors may notice things about their clients that clients did not know themselves.
Myth #4: A Counselor Can Solve All of Your Problems
Reality: It’s not the job of a counselor to solve your problems. A counselor’s job is to help you think through your problems, provide insights, and help you to figure out how best to solve your problems for yourself.
Myth #5: A Couples Counselor Will Take Sides
Reality: A successful couples counselor will be committed to your relationship as opposed to siding with one partner or the other. If both partners do not feel that their counselor is supportive of their needs, then perhaps another counselor would be a better fit for you. Each counselor has a different style so do not be afraid to search for one that both of you feel comfortable with.
Myth #6: Counselors Never Say Anything
Reality: Most counselors are very interactive. Don’t let the common picture of Freud “analyzing” someone on a couch distort your entire view of counseling. There are times when silence is therapeutic, but for the most part, counseling is an interactive process.
Myth #7: Counseling Takes Forever
Reality: The length of counseling depends on the client’s unique goals and the severity of the challenges they are facing. Short-term counseling generally lasts between eight and twenty sessions. This type of counseling is goal-directed and focuses on specific issues and problems. Longer-term counseling typically focuses on the client’s personal character development and can last a year or more.
Myth #8: Everyone Will Know I'm Seeing a Counselor
Reality: The only people who will know you are seeing a counselor are the ones whom you tell this information. Counselors are bound to confidentiality and will not discuss your issues with other people. Every counselor should explain confidentiality to you at the beginning of your time with them; if they have not explained confidentiality, then perhaps you should find another counselor.
Myth #9: Counseling Is Unaffordable
Reality: A lot of people do not realize that their health insurance will cover a certain number of sessions. Often, community mental health agencies can work out a payment plan if one is needed. There are also counselors-in-training and family service agencies who see patients on a sliding scale. The Nicholas A. Vacc Counseling & Consulting Center on the campus of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro offers sessions for $5.00 to students and a reasonable sliding scale fee to non-students.
Myth #10: Counseling Groups are Touch-Feely
Reality: Counseling groups today are not your typical groups that you have seen on movies or television for the last 20 years. Today’s counseling groups help members to maintain appropriate boundaries for themselves to help them work toward their goals.
Myth #11: You Have to be Near a Divorce to Go to Couples Counseling
Reality: Couples counseling can be beneficial for couples who are experiencing no problems in their relationships and those who notice the early warning signs of problems. Far too many couples do put of seeking help until a divorce seems imminent. Counseling does not guarantee that a divorce will not happen, but it can help you make the best decision.
Myth #12: A Counselor Will Turn Me Against My Family
Reality: A counselor will work with you to help you achieve your goals. In general, counselors support their clients in creating healthier, more satisfying relationships with their family members.
Myth #13: Marital Problems Can Only be Worked on as a Couple
Reality: It is ideal to work on couples issues as a couple; however, one person’s change will affect the couple’s relationship system.
Myth #14: S/He is the One Who Needs Counseling. Not me!
Reality: We are only able to control our behaviors and our reactions to others. The most powerful way to create changes in relationships is by focusing on how you can change your own behaviors.
Myth #15: I’m Afraid Counseling Will Change Who I Am
Reality: Change is a constant part of life. Counseling can help you to change in positive ways that are consistent with your goals for life and your relationships. Information gathered from:
Rich, H. & Laks Kravits, H. (2001). The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage. Penguin Group: New York.
Santa Clara Valley Chapter California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Marriage and Family Therapy Top 15 Myths about Therapy “What You Don’t Know Could Hurt You…” http://www.scv-camft.org/news/article.html?id=87 |
