By Anne Buford

To establish and maintain healthy relationships, it is important to consider what you and your partner think about sex and sexuality.  Consider the following questions and statements...

What are your reactions? What are your partner’s reactions?

It is worthwhile to discuss your thoughts with your partner and find out what his/her values are.  Talking openly and honestly can facilitate intimacy, and it can build a trusting relationship. 

Know yourself. Know your partner.

1.        I believe that same-sex relationships are...        

2.        I believe that sex outside a martial relationship (e.g., premarital sex) is...

3.        I believe that infidelity is...

4.        I believe that abortion is...

5.        HIV/AIDS is...

6.        I believe that sexual relationships among elderly people are...

7.        I believe that children should begin to learn about sex when...

8.        I think that bisexual individuals are...

9.        People who view pornographic materials are...

10.      My opinion of sex and the media is...

11.       Rape or sexual assault means...

12.      Trust means...

13.      Transgendered persons are...

14.      If my partner told me he/she had an STI (e.g., herpes, HIV), I would...

15.      “Open” relationships mean...

16.      I believe that sex among persons with disabilities is...

17.       Getting really drunk or high before having sex is...

18.      If I told my partner I wanted to wait to have sex he/she would...

19.      Using oral contraceptives is...

20.      My definition of sex is...

21.      Intimacy means...

22.      Using condoms is...

23.      STI testing should be done when...

24.      If my partner told me she was pregnant, I would...OR, If I were pregnant, I would...

25.      Sex in other cultures means...

26.      If I needed to talk to someone about sexuality issues, I would go to...

27.      Orgasm is...

28.      One night stands are...

29.      Talking to my doctor about sex is...

30.      Sex between people of different races is...

31.      My religious and/or cultural values tell me sex is...

32.      Sexual dysfunction can mean...

33.      Infertility is...

34.      Emotional affairs are...

35.      If my partner told me he/she wanted to wait to have sex, I would...

36.      Sex starts when...

37.      If I told my partner I had an STI, he/she would...

38.      My partner’s religious and/or cultural values tell him/her that sex is...

39.      My partner’s definition of sex is...

40.      Sex is over when...

41.      Sexuality affects my self-esteem in the following ways...

42.      Cybersex is/is not really cheating...

43.      Intercourse means...

44.      I think my body is...

45.      “Hooking up” is...

46.      Oral sex is...

47.      I can/cannot ask my partner for what I want in a sexual relationship...

48.      Sexuality affects my partner’s self-esteem in the following ways...

49.      Saying “no” means...

50.      When my partner and I disagree about sexual issues, this happens...

51.      My opinion of prostitution is...

52.      My family told me the following about sex...

53.      If orgasm does not happen during sex, it means that...

54.      My partner’s family told him/her the following about sex...

55.      What if I change my mind about, or my values around, sexual issues?  OR, What if my partner does?